So Sad

Dear Jayden,

I had to send you off for four  nights to visit your dad ALL BY YOURSELF.  I've been crying every since you left.  It is all out of my hands.  You should not have to be split from your brother.  Of course, it's really great that your dad wants you.  But I am still sad.  You are only a little girL.  I cannot make you understand what is going on and how I feel.  I have to make you excited about your new home.

Of course, you are angry with me.  So much so that you won't even talk to me on the phone.  I know before you left you tried to be so loving and good so that I would keep you.  But it's never been my choice.   And now that you are staying 8 days instead, I know you don't trust me at all. Why should you?!  I told you that you'd be back on church day, and it's not true.

It's unfair to you.  It's unfair to Mikey.  And it's breaking my heart.  When you are grown and you look back on this, I hope you will come back and let me explain it to you.

I'm sorry you are sad.

Gale

Attachment

Today I saw Michael tell a little neighbor he loved her and kiss her arm.  He tells us that all of the time.  I knew he had attachment problems but this made it clear.  Later in the day, he said his tummy hurt.  I grabbed a baby bottle and fed him water.  He loved it!  He later asked if he could be my baby tomorrow.  I said yes.  He asked if it was pretend or real.  I said real.  Poor kid...he is needing love!